I was not born an optimist. I had to train myself to be one. I had to align myself with some strict rules, some positive, energetic people, and some thought processes that with practice, made me be optimistic.

Have you ever heard the phrase “Don’t sweat the small stuff”?

Well, I used to sweat the small stuff, the medium and the large stuff. I rehearsed and relived everything around me. I used to worry what people thought, whether I had offended someone, was I liked, did I fit in, did my family like me, was I cool enough, was I valued (Or valuable)…

There were so many things that I wasted so much energy stewing on and so many toxic people that fed me this toxic energy, that I absorbed it all with every ounce of my being.

Then when I turned 30 and I said to myself “Enough!” I read about and discovered, and embraced the “Will-it-matter-in-one-year” rule.

When things go bad, I ask myself “ Will it matter in one hour? Will it matter in one week? Will it matter in one month? Will it matter in one year?”…. and mostly the answer is no.

 

I think that a lot of people worry about so many small things that really don’t matter at all. Sometimes, obviously, the answer will be yes, and this helps me to understand that whatever it is, is clearly important and deserves to be well thought through.

Don’t get me wrong, my life has not been a bed of roses.

And I still get upset, but taking a step back and looking at a problem on a bigger scale can help put me everything in proportion and help me realise that there are only a few things that really do qualify to worry about.

To me they are:

  1. Family: So I formed a partnership and a team, where everyone feels respected, cared about, supported and needed.
  2. Health: I take steps to avoid contracting chronic disease if possible. I try to live a healthy lifestyle.
  3. Friends: Keep in contact. Celebrate achievements together, appreciate them. Those that are like family are precious and far between.

This is my plan of action:

  1. Act on the things you can influence and strive for a positive change. Be responsible for what matters to you.
  2. Come to terms with the fact that you have to accept things you cannot change. Practice your peace of mind.

Remember that worrying is a normal behaviour and it takes determination and strength to stop worrying. It’s a really toxic habit. But you will reduce your stress, lead a happier life, attract nice people and feel more positive if you stop worrying about things you cannot change. “Don’t sweat the small stuff”!

Ask yourself “Will it matter in 1 year?”